Sometimes, I feel that I am not a good person at all. I am also not the kind of person that you should love and is worth for you to sacrifice everything to help me. I may look like a Mr Nice, but deep inside my heart, I know for sure that I am not as good as I think I used to be. Looks can be really deceiving and I knew that it always has been like that. For sure, I can tell that there are seeds of evil that has been sown into my heart for a long time and started to grow into shoots that will eventually blossom and lengthen as time goes. These seeds are a threat as they will provoke the malicious, vengeful and cold-blooded pieces that will form the darker side of my psyche and soul. I hate it, but sometimes I embrace it. I take it as a self-defense mechanism but this prove to be my great mistake. How sinful am I? I really can't feel any love emanating from my inner heart when I become a devil that I didn't even recognise when I was being treated badly until I feel that I can't take in that anymore. Maybe it's really my egoism that is driving me crazy. Or is it the sadistic nature that developed from my lust for seeing people being punished by their sins? I don't seek for any forgiveness. You can choose not to forgive me or accept me but I don't mind after reading this post. I hope that I will not hurt others any more.
No comments:
Post a Comment